How to talk like a villain in Chinese #1 - Call thy enemy (names)

*golf clap*

If there's one thing playing Chinese games has taught me, it's that villains stay the same wherever you are. Sure, they might be condemning you to one of the 18 layers of Buddhist hell instead of just plain hell but the pragmatic meaning comes across with equal force: sometimes you just need some meaningless bluster to get the player pumped for 10 minutes of almost (but not quite) dying. But I digress. In this first instalment of a 5-part series we will cover the essential nouns of villainous chatter; the derogatory definitions given out to the heroes.

The Villain operates with only two types of names for his enemies, the ones he uses before his fiendish plot has been foiled and the ones he uses after. I have compiled a temporary list below, subject to revisions and additions as I find them. You are of course welcome to suggest your own.

Pre-foil

蛆蟲 qūchóng - maggot

傻瓜 shǎguā - fool

害蟲 hàichóng - vermin

蟲豸 chóngzhì - worm

Post-foil

混帳 hùnzhàng - scoundrel

混蛋 hùndàn - bastard

窩囊廢 wōnangfèi - worthless wretch

Notice that pre- and post-foil can be used interchangeably if the situation requires it. For example, it's entirely possible to imagine a sentence like “愚蠢的傻瓜… 你們只不過是一群混蛋” "stupid fools... you are nothing but a bunch of scoundrels".

Last but not least, derogatory names might be modified by a suitably offensive adjective. These will be covered in a future article but for now knowing 愚蠢 yúchǔn foolish and 可惡 kěwù will suffice. 可惡 is especially useful, since it can mean everything from "damn", "wretched" to "abominable", perfect for villains who have been foiled or are just about to be:

“我的計劃…怎會被你們這些可惡的狗打敗？  我會殺光你們！！“how could my plan... be defeated by you wretched dogs? I will slay you all!!".